Breastfeeding is often on the list for postpartum plans, and families are often surprised at how hard it can be!
The first two weeks are like a war zone, and breastfeeding is often the biggest battle! (Exhaustion comes in at second place, naturally). These early weeks are crucial, and having some practical breastfeeding tips for new moms can make all the difference when navigating this intense time.
The Ideal vs. The Reality of Breastfeeding
Our society sells us the dream of women peacefully rocking their babies next to a window full of streaming light, babies neatly latched…
But for most people, the reality is families that are up at 3 am, again, with a tearful, exhausted mama and a crying baby, and a frantic partner all trying to get that elusive perfect latch!
Let’s face it—those cozy, Instagram-worthy moments of blissful breastfeeding often aren’t the reality, at least not at first.
The breastfeeding challenges are real, and it’s okay if your experience feels far from what you imagined.
But remember, you’re not alone! Many parents find the first few weeks challenging as they and their baby learn together.
Every Baby is Unique—So Is Every Breastfeeding Experience
The truth is, until your baby meets your breasts, no one is going to have any idea how your breastfeeding journey will start.
Babies can have very weak or very strong suck reflexes and desires. They can have tongue ties.
Mothers can have inverted nipples or nipples as large as blackberries. They can have soft breast tissue or very dense, firm tissue. All of these things will influence how these first weeks go.
Breastfeeding doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all formula.
While some lucky parents get the textbook-perfect latch on day one, many others face issues like a baby with a poor suck reflex or moms struggling with inverted nipples.
Knowing that there are countless variations can help ease that pressure to achieve perfection right away.
Ways to breastfeed might vary greatly from one family to another, and that’s perfectly normal.
The Perfect Scenario: When Everything Clicks
A baby with a strong suck, no tie, and a mama with nice, erect nipples will do great! These are the ones that have the easiest journey.
If this is your reality, congratulations! You can stop here. Your breastfeeding journey is likely to be textbook perfect. It’s the other ones we may have to work on!
But if you’re not in this lucky camp, don’t worry—you’re in good company. For many, it takes some troubleshooting to get everything working smoothly.
Remember, it’s a process, and there’s help available!
Common Breastfeeding Challenges
Poor Suck Reflex
Some babies just don’t come out with a strong desire to suck! Just like adults have different appetites or eating patterns, babies do too
Tongue or Lip Tie
About 50% of women carry the MTHFR gene, which makes their babies prone to tongue ties. A tongue tie keeps babies from curling their tongue around the nipple to latch or being able to effectively press the nipple against the roof of their mouth.
Flat or Inverted Nipples
Flat or inverted nipples are usually genetic, so blame your mother! No, don’t. Mothers get blamed for everything. If your nipples don’t become hard and erect (they don’t stick out) when you are cold or aroused, you probably have flat or inverted nipples.
Dense Breast Tissue
It’s great to have those firm, structured breasts until they are too firm for a baby to get a good mouthful! Dense breast tissue can make it difficult for a baby to compress the nipple properly.
Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms
If your baby just doesn’t have much of a suck reflex, your midwife or a lactation consultant can help you find ways to stimulate your baby’s reflex. “Suck Training”, where you place your pinkie finger in your baby’s mouth and stroke the roof of their mouth firmly to trigger their suck reflex, can help your baby master a strong latch. (You’ll want to put your finger in to about the second knuckle!)
Tongue tie is a functional diagnosis, meaning if you and your baby are fine, there’s no need to do anything. However, If your baby has a tongue or lip tie that is affecting their latch, your midwife will have resources for revisions and possibly craniosacral massage.
If you have flat or inverted nipples, let them know ASAP! There are massages and exercises you can do during pregnancy to help. After the baby is born, they may recommend nipple shields or everters to help baby latch until their mouth is big enough and their latch is strong enough to get behind the nipple.
For dense breast tissue, using a hot compress before every latch can help soften them a bit. Your midwife can also teach you how to massage them to help.
Build a Support Network
Surround yourself with midwives, doulas, lactation consultants and doctors and other parents who not only understand the breastfeeding journey, they believe in it!.
Stay Patient and Persistent
Set short term goals- tell yourself “I’ll nurse 4 weeks, 2 weeks, 3 days or even just until morning!” The first few weeks can be rough, but with persistence and the right help, you can make it work.
The Importance of Finding the Right Support
If your baby has oral issues, but you have great nipples or your nipples have issues but your baby has a great suck, you may need some help, but it is completely doable with support and perseverance.
Find your team!
This is where finding your tribe is critical.
Whether it’s through a lactation consultant, midwife, or breastfeeding support group, having the right support can make a huge difference.
These resources provide personalized advice tailored to your situation, and they can be a comforting presence when you’re struggling with those 3 am feeding sessions.
When Both Baby and Mom Need Extra Support
If your baby has oral issues AND you have dense tissue or flat or inverted nipples, you both will need lots of support, encouragement, education, and love!
These families are the ones that will need an excellent lactation consultant and breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician to walk alongside their journey.
With the right team, even challenging situations can be overcome!
Don’t be afraid to reach out. There’s no shame in asking for help—everybody’s journey is different, and there’s a wealth of support available to guide you through.
Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be an isolated experience, and finding a team that champions you is vital.
Wishing You the Best in Your Breastfeeding Journey
Here’s to wishing you erect nipples, deep latches, strong sucks, and sleep! You are going to be just fine!
Breastfeeding can be a wild ride, and it’s okay if your journey isn’t perfect. With the right tools and a supportive team, you’ll find your rhythm.
Remember, it’s a learning process for both you and your baby, and you’re doing amazing.
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a lactation consultant or a breastfeeding support group in your area. You’ve got this—just take it one latch at a time!
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If you want to see our beautiful birth center in person, we would love to show you around and help you decide if a home birth or birth center birth is right for you!
